Hello!
I wanted to apologize for disappearing again! I really miss everyone! And I honestly feel I have let some friends down and I feel terrible!! I am a horrible friend.
Life here has been terribly hectic. I am still working extra hours. It's crazy. There are plenty of jobs available, and plenty of people unemployed, but nobody wants to work anymore. Is any other country having this problem or is it just the US? I feel we are getting awful lazy here. Kind of scares me.
Beyond that, we have had some ups and downs here.
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My sister, thank the Lord, has finally been freed of an abusive relationship. My prayers go out to all the women that are still trapped in situations like these. If you are one of them... please, please, please seek help! It will only get worse, and your life is at risk!! If you know someone in a situation like this, help! Somehow! I know so many times people are unaware. I knew there was abuse in this relationship, but until it was over, and she finally had a voice, I did not know to what extent she suffered. The men and women that abuse others... spouses, children, anyone... are the lowest of lifeforms. Nobody... NOBODY... deserves that.
We also experienced the unexpected loss of my grandmother. My final grandparent. So many mixed feelings here. For my mother especially. A woman who gave her few good memories as an abusive alcoholic. Yet, who repented, freed herself of alcohol, and pursued a relationship with my mother. People can change! If they choose to...
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However, one of my biggest reasons for not being around is my own personal struggle with self-esteem. I have always been a recluse... introvert... never liking any type of spotlight. And, I struggle with any expectation of myself because I always feel I will fall short, or fail in some way. I hate being this way, and yet I can't seem to get past it! WHY? Anyway, I do want to continue with my commissions list, and will, but I have this frustrating fear that people will pay money for something that won't be worth what they paid. Does anyone else have this problem?! I want to make money doing what I love, but...grrr!! Haha! I keep thinking that I should just offer free lotteries. I don't put as much pressure on myself when things are free (or at least very cheap in price) and I feel my art is better without the pressure! But, anyway! Thanks for letting me ramble!
***
If you actually made it through all that you deserve a prize!! And, a thank you for being interested enough to read it!
***
I want to feature some art from a few of the amazing people I have met on here! Thank you guys for all your inspiration and support!!
And there are many more who I would sooooo like to thank!!
Much love and hugs to you all!
I wanted to apologize for disappearing again! I really miss everyone! And I honestly feel I have let some friends down and I feel terrible!! I am a horrible friend.
Life here has been terribly hectic. I am still working extra hours. It's crazy. There are plenty of jobs available, and plenty of people unemployed, but nobody wants to work anymore. Is any other country having this problem or is it just the US? I feel we are getting awful lazy here. Kind of scares me.
Beyond that, we have had some ups and downs here.
<da:thumb id="288690313"/>
My sister, thank the Lord, has finally been freed of an abusive relationship. My prayers go out to all the women that are still trapped in situations like these. If you are one of them... please, please, please seek help! It will only get worse, and your life is at risk!! If you know someone in a situation like this, help! Somehow! I know so many times people are unaware. I knew there was abuse in this relationship, but until it was over, and she finally had a voice, I did not know to what extent she suffered. The men and women that abuse others... spouses, children, anyone... are the lowest of lifeforms. Nobody... NOBODY... deserves that.
We also experienced the unexpected loss of my grandmother. My final grandparent. So many mixed feelings here. For my mother especially. A woman who gave her few good memories as an abusive alcoholic. Yet, who repented, freed herself of alcohol, and pursued a relationship with my mother. People can change! If they choose to...
***
However, one of my biggest reasons for not being around is my own personal struggle with self-esteem. I have always been a recluse... introvert... never liking any type of spotlight. And, I struggle with any expectation of myself because I always feel I will fall short, or fail in some way. I hate being this way, and yet I can't seem to get past it! WHY? Anyway, I do want to continue with my commissions list, and will, but I have this frustrating fear that people will pay money for something that won't be worth what they paid. Does anyone else have this problem?! I want to make money doing what I love, but...grrr!! Haha! I keep thinking that I should just offer free lotteries. I don't put as much pressure on myself when things are free (or at least very cheap in price) and I feel my art is better without the pressure! But, anyway! Thanks for letting me ramble!
***
If you actually made it through all that you deserve a prize!! And, a thank you for being interested enough to read it!
***
I want to feature some art from a few of the amazing people I have met on here! Thank you guys for all your inspiration and support!!
In between"I'm a mess."<da:thumb id="536781068"/>
She doesn't say that in the half sullen, half proud tone of the rebellious teenager. She says that with a meek, apologetic voice, looking down at the formica table that spreads between us. The molded plastic chairs are of this universal shape that doesn't exactly fit anyone's back and our shadows are stark paintings against the white tiled floor, cut clean by the fluorescent lights above us. The two hands pressed on her shoulders tighten a little as she speaks but it doesn't silence her.
"I'm a mess."
Her fingers are wrapped around the styrofoam cup, channeling as much heat as she can from the scummy hospital coffee that sloshes as she shivers. The noises around us are a pleasant, appeasing drone, the faraway beeping of the machinery mingling with the brisks orders, giving an impression of calm efficiency and control. She takes a sip of the disgusting drink and makes a face. I offer her two packets of sugar and she shook her head silently in denegation before catching her
And there are many more who I would sooooo like to thank!!
Much love and hugs to you all!