Struggles and Features

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Hello!

I wanted to apologize for disappearing again! I really miss everyone! And I honestly feel I have let some friends down and I feel terrible!! I am a horrible friend. :ashamed:

Life here has been terribly hectic. I am still working extra hours. It's crazy. There are plenty of jobs available, and plenty of people unemployed, but nobody wants to work anymore. :( Is any other country having this problem or is it just the US? I feel we are getting awful lazy here. Kind of scares me.

Beyond that, we have had some ups and downs here.

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My sister, thank the Lord, has finally been freed of an abusive relationship. My prayers go out to all the women that are still trapped in situations like these. If you are one of them... please, please, please seek help! It will only get worse, and your life is at risk!! If you know someone in a situation like this, help! Somehow! I know so many times people are unaware. I knew there was abuse in this relationship, but until it was over, and she finally had a voice, I did not know to what extent she suffered. The men and women that abuse others... spouses, children, anyone... are the lowest of lifeforms. Nobody... NOBODY... deserves that.

My Beautiful Grandmother by Gnewi
We also experienced the unexpected loss of my grandmother. My final grandparent. :( So many mixed feelings here. For my mother especially. A woman who gave her few good memories as an abusive alcoholic. Yet, who repented, freed herself of alcohol, and pursued a relationship with my mother. People can change! If they choose to...

***
However, one of my biggest reasons for not being around is my own personal struggle with self-esteem. I have always been a recluse... introvert... never liking any type of spotlight. And, I struggle with any expectation of myself because I always feel I will fall short, or fail in some way. :( I hate being this way, and yet I can't seem to get past it! WHY? Anyway, I do want to continue with my commissions list, and will, but I have this frustrating fear that people will pay money for something that won't be worth what they paid. Does anyone else have this problem?! I want to make money doing what I love, but...grrr!! Haha! I keep thinking that I should just offer free lotteries. I don't put as much pressure on myself when things are free (or at least very cheap in price) and I feel my art is better without the pressure! But, anyway! :) Thanks for letting me ramble!

***

If you actually made it through all that you deserve a prize!! :D And, a thank you for being interested enough to read it!

***

I want to feature some art from a few of the amazing people I have met on here! Thank you guys for all your inspiration and support!! :glomp:

Sunset by Captain-Savvy Tea Time by Aliciane Secret Santa - CurlyBunny by MissZenGray Prize: Illumination by InkyRose In between"I'm a mess."
She doesn't say that in the half sullen, half proud tone of the rebellious teenager. She says that with a meek, apologetic voice, looking down at the formica table that spreads between us. The molded plastic chairs are of this universal shape that doesn't exactly fit anyone's back and our shadows are stark paintings against the white tiled floor, cut clean by the fluorescent lights above us. The two hands pressed on her shoulders tighten a little as she speaks but it doesn't silence her.
"I'm a mess."
Her fingers are wrapped around the styrofoam cup, channeling as much heat as she can from the scummy hospital coffee that sloshes as she shivers. The noises around us are a pleasant, appeasing drone, the faraway beeping of the machinery mingling with the brisks orders, giving an impression of calm efficiency and control. She takes a sip of the disgusting drink and makes a face. I offer her two packets of sugar and she shook her head silently in denegation before catching her
Wedding Dress commission by MadameThibodeau Prize - Mael and Sybil by girl-n-herhorse<da:thumb id="536781068"/> Who would even remember my name... by DameOdessa COM - Malania by Tsukiiyo Broken heart by NikeMV What Danger Lurks Here by Endorell-Taelos Gift of Erias for Savvy by dragondoodle

And there are many more who I would sooooo like to thank!!
Much love and hugs to you all! :glomp::glomp::glomp:


© 2015 - 2024 Gnewi
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Aliciane's avatar
Hey, no need to apologize :hug: the Internet can wait, you are right to be focusing on your life and family.

To answer you, here in France the situation's rather simple : there are no jobs, especially for the youth. The unemployment rate for people under 25 is 25%. The only jobs available are highly qualified jobs of the type "Senior [insert job title here] with at least 10 years of experience". So you can find work if you're already in the system, but you can no longer enter it.
It's getting worse because our government keeps putting away the minimum age for retirement, therefore the existing jobs are kept into the hands of 70 years old people. Labor laws in France are very restrictive, the market is not flexible at all, so most companies will rather have their current employees work more than hire new ones, because with all the taxes we have, it is too expensive for them.
The government is trying to make our labour market a bit more liberal, but it'll take time... In the meantime, yeah the situation's not great.

I'm really glad for your sister. It'll probably take a bit of time for her to heal completely from this awful experience but I'm sure you'll be here for her :hug: I am also sorry for your loss :(

Regarding your issue with self-esteem, and the pressure it causes regarding commissions, here are my 2 cents. I know how you feel very well. I would advise you to only offer commissions on subjects you're very comfortable with, such as characters, only in black and white if you need :)
Honestly I find you very consistent in quality, I never thought "This isn't as good as what she usually does", so as long as you stay in your comfort zone, there shouldn't be any risk ! That said, your aim should be to extend this comfort zone, but it'll feel safer for you to experiment for personnal or free art, until you feel comfortable enough to propose it as commissions.

Once again, your art is consistent, reliable and of high quality, so have faith in yourself ! :D